Those with
whom we assemble, we soon resemble!
This simple
old saying hides a deep Truth that can enlighten and empower every aspect of
our lives:
Who we are —
our very essence — is continually being transformed by the company we keep.
Stated
differently, when we keep the company of what is light and bright, our lives
get lighter and brighter. And when we keep the company of what is dark and
discouraging, our lives can’t help but be dragged downward.
This idea
might sound a little simplistic at first, but its power soon becomes evident
when we put it to use in the quest to realize our highest aspirations. The key
lies in understanding that this principle is active on multiple levels at once.
For instance, when referring to “the company we keep,” we of course mean the
people we spend time with every day — family, friends, co-workers, etc. However,
on a deeper and more important level, “company” can also refer to the thoughts
and feelings moving within us in any given moment.
Have you ever
been home alone in a fine mood, enjoying a meal perhaps, only to find yourself
bored or depressed an hour later? That’s a perfect example of the effect of
hanging out with the wrong interior friends. When we are unconscious to the
operation of our minds, any indigent thought or feeling that passes through us
has the power to strike up a conversation and drag us into its dark circle of
influence.
But just as
it’s possible for us to keep bad interior company that pulls us down, so is it
possible to keep positive inner company that works to raise us up in any moment
we choose to remember it. This not only means that we can choose not to get
dragged down when we are alone, but it also means that we can choose not to get
dragged down when we find ourselves in the presence of negative people as well.
How
encouraging! When life places us in a situation where a run-in with someone is
inevitable — perhaps at work, with a family member, in a store, etc. — we can
choose to keep the company of good and true interior friends who can help keep
us from falling into negative states. And therein lies the key: when we
remember that keeping the company of negative interior friends is a choice,
instead of an obligation, we are free to keep the company of compassion instead
of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead anxiety.
Building on
this idea, let’s look at four common types of people that can be identified by
the four prevailing dark states that inhabit them. By learning to recognize and
understand the interior workings of these four types of “toxic people,” we gain
important insight into what is dark and limiting inside of us. In this way, we
begin the process of liberation from everything inside of us that stands in the
way of knowing the peace, happiness, success, and love that we long for.
1 Muckrakers:
These negative sprits live to drag up old painful events and then revel in the
anger, resentment, or bitterness that such unhappy memories hold. Stay away
from any spirit, in others or in yourself, that wants you to dive into some
suffering over what happened in any past moment.
2 Mud
Slingers: These malicious spirits pull themselves up by pulling others down.
They love to gossip, criticize, judge, and denigrate anyone who ever had the
misfortune of spending time with them. The only loyalty these denizens of the
unconscious worlds have is to their own pain, which they feed by involving
everyone they can in their mud slinging.
3 Swamp
Dwellers: There is a group of mired spirits that thrive on low vibrations, and
that require a human instrument to play out their endless dark dissonance.
Easily recognizable, these misfortunate forces serve up dreadful mental
pictures of past and future events for the sake of the unnatural reactions they
produce. Ignore these corrupted spirits and they must take their evil
speculations elsewhere.
4 Life Haters:
These dark spirits perpetuate their hold on the human soul by resisting the
beautiful gifts of life. They trick us into commiserating with their
complaining, cruelty, and irritation because without our unconscious consent,
these chronically conflicted spirits can’t spread their poison.
Just as
harmful viruses require a human host to exist and thrive, so do negative states
require the unconscious consent of human beings to carry out their dark
mission. For what power does a negative thought have other than the power to
convince a person to do its bidding? The answer is none! When we begin
to consciously withdraw our consent to associate ith toxic people, and the
toxic thoughts and feelings inside of us, we leave them with no place to
thrive. Our real inner work is to sweep clean the places in ourselves where
such creatures reside which in turn brightens our life and the lives of
everyone around us.
Begin today,
this very moment, to withdraw any permission you have unknowingly granted these
dark spirits to be in your life. Do not judge yourself, or those around you in
whom these misdirected forces are active, but instead come awake and refuse to
spend one more moment of your life lending your precious life force to their
dark purposes.
This powerful,
positive action will change your life. As you begin to refuse to consort with
what is dark, you’ll find that you begin to attract with what is light, bright,
and cheerful. Your relationships will deepen, your professional life will take
on new vigor and freshness, and the whole of your days will begin to resemble
the radiant Life that you have deliberately chosen as your conscious companion.
———-
Guy Finley is
the best-selling author of more than 40 books and audio albums on
self-realization. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation,
a nonprofit center for self-study located in southern Oregon .Copyright Life
of Learning. All Rights Reserved.
Permission granted to reprint with author credit.
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